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Funny Traffic Court Quotes

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On: Sat, Mar 1, 2014 at 8:54AM | By: Karen Cook

Funny Traffic Court Quotes

Traffic court is nothing like the cases you see on TV shows. What happens there is unscripted and clumsy, and there aren’t any retakes. Sometimes things go astray without the participants seeming to be in control at all. These are some things that have actually been said in court.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.

Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between 498 and 500.

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?

Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for 10 years. I even went to school for it.

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
A: Yes.

Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
A: Yes, sir.

Q: What did she say?
A: What disco am I at?

Sometimes, just the question is enough to make you scratch your head. A judge actually asked, “How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?” ( I wasn’t there but I can guess.)

Insurance companies have their share of incredible statements on claim forms after accidents. It’s a good thing you can’t be denied just for being stupid.

“The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.” (Way to stick with it, buddy.)

“To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.” (Yes, life is full of tough choices.)

“A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.” (The nerve!)

I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.” (Well, who wouldn’t?)

“The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.”

“The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light so I had no choice but to hit him.” (That’ll show him.)

“No witnesses would admit having seen the mishap until after it happened.” (Don’t you hate it when that happens?)

“As I approached the intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.” (I always wondered where those signs came from. I never see anyone putting them in. Now I know.)

Accidents aren’t funny. People who are in accidents are hilarious.



gator done | 11:52AM (Wed, Mar 5, 2014)

Great article! I laughed out loud, oops! My boss asked me what was so funny!

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