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Clarkson doesn't just say nasty things, he also writes them

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On: Fri, Aug 14, 2009 at 5:18PM | By: John Welch

Clarkson doesn't just say nasty things, he also writes them

Unless you live under a rock, (which is entirely possible, I'm not judging . . .) then you have probably witnessed a scene or two of Top Gear. "Uh oh," you're thinking, "Another blog, brown-nosing Top Gear . . . " Not entirely true. Give me a BBC budget and I'll blow up some buses for ya. No problem. I'm not brown-nosing the show, more its presenters. One presenter in particular, Jeremy Clarkson.

All three Top Gear presenters, Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May, are able to hold my interest. Hammond is a little childish and hackneyed at times, and May says things that make me wonder if he is even lucid. He is, I'm sure. All three of these fine Brits write weekly articles in British papers, but Clarkson's column delivers the 'snark' I'm looking for, every time. Also, May's columns are not always about cars. Sometimes they feature giant gardens crafted from plastecine. Eh, I ain't that hot on British 'culture' just yet.

When there is some semblance of 'posting order' to this blog I will provide you with the freshest Clarkson article each week. If they apply you might get one or two from Hammond or Mr. May. "What about some dern 'Muhrrakin authors?!" you ask, incredulously. Don't worry, plenty of American journalists tickle my funny-craw-car-bone as well; but they will get their own post. Calm Down.

Assembled here are a few of my favorite Clarkson articles; you should be able to figure out the archive tables on "The Times" website, in case you choose to read the entire catalogue, as I did one night when my dog was ignoring me.

The Argo Avenger 700 8x8: Clarkson drinks wine, drives his personal Argo out into a lake. Drinks more wine, allows the tide to go out. Drinks more wine, drives Argo over slippery lakebed in order to return home and fetch more wine. A superbly crafted article.

Chevrolet Corvette C6: The Super-Patriotic need not apply. Written in August of 2004, this article gives us some insight as to why the rest of the world hates us so much. Apparently, they can't get away from us. As far as the Corvette is concerned Clarkson sums up his feelings in the opening blurb: "A vulgar, plastic pram- I love it!" . . . heh, 'Pram'. What a quaint country, that UK.

Perodua Kelisa 1.0 GXi: What?! You've never heard of the Kelisa 1.0 GXi??! Geez, get some culture, loser. Apparently this is what passes for a 'car' in Malaysia, and it is sold in Britain as well. Jeremy HATES it. That usually makes for good reading.

So, there’s a sample of Clarksonism; please forgive him if his view of our country is less than stellar. While not favorable, he is fair to a tee. Not to mention quite the humorist.

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