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Now Men Can Smell Like Mercedes (But Not In That Good New-Car Way)

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On: Thu, Sep 29, 2011 at 1:03PM | By: Andrew W Davis

Now Men Can Smell Like Mercedes (But Not In That Good New-Car Way)

From the folks that bring you custom helicopters, branded credit cards, the ridiculous smart transport module, and the occasional car, now comes what every rich, German-car-loving guy—and it is for guys—has been waiting for: Mercedes-Benz Perfume.

Hey! I know what you’re thinking, but just because it says “perfume” doesn’t mean it’s only for the ladies. And the proof is in Mercedes’ own spiel: “Innovative and unique, it is the first men's fragrance from Mercedes-Benz and it combines woody notes with floral freshness.”

So… yes. It’s perfume and it’s floral. But seeing as how the bottle design is “masculine, modern and elegant,” it HAS to be manly, right? Right!

I’m a bit of what you might call a late bloomer, at least in terms of, say, alcohol. As I near my 40th swing around the sun I thought it would be good to acquaint myself with some of the finer things I’ve ignored in my headlong obsession with everything automotive, so I thought I’d give high-end scotch a try.

Maybe I’m still not experienced—or rich—enough to “properly” appreciate it, but I found that there’s stuff that tastes like gasoline and some with a flavor that’s not quite as petroleum-based.

I mention this because I’m about to hit you with Mercedes’ own description of what went into their new "manly" bottle of firewater, and it sounds—or looks, I suppose, given this context—like what scotch aficionados will tell you is the reason that 30-year-old kerosene is worth ten times what the 10-year-old stuff will bring (and don’t get me started on wine buffs…. I hate hearing this claptrap from them even more.…):

“The cool top note features Calabrian bergamot, lemon essence and Italian mandarin. The middle note is a warm, spicy mix of bourbon pepper, nutmeg, violet and galbanum resin. The base note provides a spicy finish to the perfume and includes American cedar wood, vetyver grass and patchouli.”

[Now that’ll make you want to go out and wrassle somebody or beat your chest or perform some other feat of manly derring-do, no?]

As you might expect, despite spending 125 years in the car-making racket Mercedes had to outsource its stinkum creation, and, as befits their position in the upper echelon of cardom, they had theirs “composed by renowned perfumer Olivier Cresp (Firmenich)”, which sounds fittingly expensive.

To further justify the cost of their bottle-o'-smell—and to re-hit upon its manly nature—they’ve developed the slogan “'Mercedes Benz Perfume. The first fragrance for men” and tossed in the fact it has been created “in partnership with the INCC Group”, whatever that means (beyond jacking the price up even more).

Now, I know you don’t want to switch perfume brands and risk cross-contaminating yourself with conflicting floralities from the rest of your toilet products, but fear not; when it becomes available from “selected specialist retailers from the first quarter of 2012” it will come also as an “eau de toilette, after shave, deodorant and shower and body gel.”

If you’re still at a loss to explain why a car company is releasing its own fragrance, well, Mercedes has two things to tell you:

“This distinctive perfume fits in with Mercedes-Benz's systematic expansion of its range of high-end accessories, which includes watches and eye wear;” and “The world of fragrance is not new to Mercedes-Benz: the company already offers exclusively developed perfumes for the atomisers in its Maybach models and in the Mercedes-Benz S 600 Pullman.”

I, however, find it all kinds of ironic that they’re calling this stuff “perfume” instead of “cologne,” seeing as how THAT name—the one usually used for guy-oriented odor-additives—is named after a GERMAN town, Köln, which lies just under 180 miles from Mercedes’ front door.

Regardless—and as is the case with the scotch I mentioned—this stuff is “high-end” and will therefore be expensive regardless of its innate masculinity (or lack thereof). But there’s only one way to get a better Mercedes fragrance, and seeing as how THAT one—“Eau de New Car”—has a starting MSRP of $39,500, perhaps this perfume will be a deal after all.

[Though manliness—in both cases to varying degrees—will likely be sold separately.]

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