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Bentley Introduces Its Mulliner More-So For The 2012 Continental GT

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On: Mon, Jun 27, 2011 at 9:44AM | By: Andrew W Davis

Bentley Introduces Its Mulliner More-So For The 2012 Continental GT

If you were thinking of plopping down your $200k on a new 2012 Bentley Continental GT coupe but felt it was too short on carbon-fiber (or “fibre” as those crazy Brits put it) exterior widgets, Bentley has just the thing for you: its new “Mulliner Styling Specification” gear.

Either in full body-kit form as the “Classic Pack” and/or individually-orderable “design features,” the folks at Crewe have gone carbon-crazy. And as if that wasn’t enough, they’re bypassing the usual ride-pimpers to offer a direct-to-consumer 21-inch “Elegant” alloy wheel option, too.

Now you should be forced to do the right thing and opt for it all at once for “just” $29,459, but seeing as how the Conti is Bentley’s “budget” model, they’re giving you skinflints the option to buy some bits by themselves.

Well, of COURSE I know YOU don’t have to ask, as we can both clearly afford it (all). But for all the plebeians out there, details follow…

Here in the U.S. of A-Listers the “Classic Pack”—excluding tax and “fitting at authorised [screw you, self-correcting spell-check!] Bentley Dealers”—is $9,775. What, you thought I wouldn’t school you up front, homey? Puh-leeze. It’s pocket change!

For your twenty-ish large (all-in with tax and installation) you get a carbon-fibre [suck it, Microsoft Word!] front bumper lower splitter, front bumper lower grille strakes, side sill extension blades, and a rear bumper diffuser.

Very nice. Looks sharp. Certainly better than the regular crap Bentley hangs on all the cheapskates’ Conti GTs. But pack-ordering options make it too easy for the pack to opt for it. You need to go further. After all, if a little carbon-fibre is goode [olde-school dis!], a LOT of it has to be better.

Now, ordinarily I’d warn against you adding these things to your Bentley as they’re gauche, gross, and too Fast & Furious for consideration, but seeing as how Bentley’s the one selling them, I’ll reserve (over) judgment.

First on the normally-inappropriate list is that old standby of faux performance-enhancers, the “rear spoiler.” I put that in quotes because it seems to be the only thing that ISN’T naughty when translated into the Queen’s-own English. Nope, it’s the rump-mounted wingie-thingie we all think it is, though at a parts-only price of $2,905, the thing must be inlaid with Swarovski crystals or peasants’ tears or something.

And if you’re looking for a way to improve your peasants’ tear-production, just mention the fact that you paid the same amount of money again to get your “mirror cowls” covered in the same shiny, striated supergoop.

Not upsetting enough? Try the $6,174 “Vented Wings with Carbon-Fibre Surrounds.” I don’t know what that all means in American, but it implies that your Conti could then fly, which, if you’ve priced private jets lately (and who among us hasn't) seems quite the inexpensive value-add.

But when your Bentley’s relegated to the ground, you want a way to instantly set YOUR overpriced boutique bolide apart from the rest sitting outside in the Bilderberg Club lot or wherever you and your cronies plan your nefarious dealings, and nothing says “I don’t understand the concept of ‘unsprung weight’ and I have enough money not to care” more than a set of snazzy oversized and overpriced wheels.

But this isn’t East L.A., homes, so avoid the chrome-plating option—or any of the “regular” wheel options—and skip straight to the (deep breath) “21-Inch 7-Spoke ‘Elegant’ Alloy Wheels—Black-Painted.” Now I know what you’re thinking, but it’s worth paying $7,700 for wheels with paint on them versus chrome or… oh. Well, I guess we just have to take Bentley’s word that it “enhances sporting look.”

So there you go. For the cost of a rounding-error on your annual serf-suppression bill you can—for as long as it takes Bentley to “turn it up to 11 (again)”—have the bitchin’est “baby” Bentley on the block.

Not for you, of course. For the help. We wouldn’t get caught dead (or alive) in something so pedestrian as a Bentley, right? Right? That guy knows what I’m talking about!...

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NEWZPHLASH | 7:15AM (Thu, Jun 30, 2011)

Pedestrian bentley, for under 30k.??? I guess jay-z won't be rapping about bentley anymore, lol

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