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The "Improved" Volt Goes On Sale In All 50 States (Enthusiasm Remains Limited To Two)

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On: Wed, Jun 15, 2011 at 2:44PM | By: Andrew W Davis

The "Improved" Volt Goes On Sale In All 50 States (Enthusiasm Remains Limited To Two)

Hooray! Yippee! Wow… oh, forget it.

Look GM, I tried REALLY hard to be enthusiastic for you now that your 2012 Volt sparkwagon can be ordered—and presumably taken home and kept—by folks in all 50 states.

And giving it a “starting” price of $39,995—or “$32,495 assuming a full federal tax credit of $7,500, which is subject to the customer’s eligibility”—including an “$850 destination freight charge but excludes tax, title and license fees” which is “$1,000 below the price of the 2011 model”… Stop! You are literally killing me here with your number-laden caveat-fest.

And therein lay my problem with the Volt: NOTHING can be easily and/or clearly be said about it without an explain-o-page full of notes attached. Well, I’m gonna go ahead and translate your press release MY way, asterisks be damned (except for one).

So, the biggest news for 2012 is that even if you don’t live in one of the seven “good” states (or the only district) you will now be allowed to order a Volt anyway.

But to make up for your unfortunate real estate choice Chevy has decided to make those snooty “early-adopter” nerds who bought 2011 models feel bad by lowering the price and increasing the number of options (literally and figuratively) for 2012.

Just like when chicks see other chicks in something deemed “so last year”, you can dump on fellow Volt owners for their not having either of the two 2012 “season” exterior paint colors (“Summit White” and “Blue Topaz Metallic”) and/or two new interior “accent” hues (“white” and “Spiced Red”).

You can also point out that while they could choose to choose only three option packages, you could choose from seven. Oh, and should you choose to do so, you could choose everything—including leather upholstery, nav system with backup camera, and premium paint and wheels—for an as-chosen price of $46,265 if the Feds don’t choose to bestow that “full tax credit” on your chosen Volt.

If they STILL give you lip, let them know that YOUR Volt came with lots of stuff you didn’t have to choose (and then pay for), unlike theirs. Newly-standard for 2012 are things like “keyless access with passive locking”, “OnStar Turn by Turn navigation for three years”, “Chevrolet MyLink including Bluetooth*”, and “17-inch sport alloy wheels with black inserts*”.

[* “late availability”]

Well, that was my ONE asterisk, and here’s one asterisk-free thing GM said about this news:

“Customers in all states can visit their nearest participating Chevrolet Volt dealer today to order a 2012 Volt. Once an order is placed, a dedicated Volt advisor will be available to answer questions and keep the customer apprised of the order progress. Nationwide availability will initially be limited as deliveries will occur by phases. Additionally, Chevrolet will have a team of Volt advisors available to answer questions starting today at 1-888-VOLT-4-YOU (1-888-865-8496).”

Actually, that’s not true; even though you can ORDER one now in any state, there are different “production start dates” for the car (and, therefore, differing DELIVERY dates) in various hunks of the country (see map).

Everything else about the car is the same—I think—so I’m not going to go into it here. Actually, I’m not going into it ANYWHERE, so maybe that was the wrong choice of word. Or is it words? And why is it “into” and not “over”? People say they want to “go over” things with you, but you “go into” things with them. No, you both can say both. Maybe I’m not explaining it right. If… oh, forget it. I have entirely lost my enthusiasm for this subject.

[Is he talking about the words or the Volt? You decide!]

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