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Here's One For The Ladies: A Prince, His Princess, And A Lexus

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On: Wed, May 18, 2011 at 1:49PM | By: Andrew W Davis

Here's One For The Ladies: A Prince, His Princess, And A Lexus

Thanks to my wife there’s a People magazine cluttering up my mailbox every week. And as I’m contemplating throwing it immediately in the recycler or waiting until she reads it and then throwing it out, I can’t help but notice whatever cover-page foofaraw their “editors” are screaming about in 100-point type.

If I’m not mistaken there was recently some to-do about the Queen of England getting married to some hot chick with a hyphenated last name even though that hot chick’s sister was wearing a better dress or some such thing.

Anyhoo, in that spirit I have created a feature especially for the ladies, in the hopes of growing my group of female readers beyond those who are related to me, by blood, law or “other.”

Dudes can read this too, by the way, but as it doesn’t feature boobs, graphic violence, or monster trucks they probably won’t want to….

[OK, I’m going to let Lexus tell you this part of the story because I can neither improve upon their flowery language nor figure out what the hell they’re talking about in spots. Not a very manly thing to say, I know, but chicks are supposed to dig “sensitive” guys, right?]

“Lexus becomes Official Supplier to H.S.H. the Sovereign Prince of Monaco

“Lexus Europe is pleased to announce that His Serene Highness Prince Albert II of Monaco has awarded a royal warrant to the company as Official Supplier to H.S.H. the Sovereign Prince of Monaco.

“Confirming his commitment for more environmentally friendly solutions, His Serene Highness has decided to use a Lexus hybrid car [an LS 600h L, BTW] at the occasion of his marriage to Miss Charlene Wittstock on Saturday 2nd July 2011.”

[Now that it's my turn again, I thought I'd mention that I’m thinking of adding “His Royal Dudeship” to my name or perhaps “YesHoneyI’llDoWhateverYouWant.” Yep, that’s the one. See, if I can get my wife to say that part before she says anything to me, I feel it might give me a distinct advantage in chore negotiations.]

OK, I’m new at this, so bear with me.

This glorious occasion is perfect for displaying a mostly-stock extended-length Lexus in dark blue metallic sheet metal. You’ll note that the designers have chosen to add a white satiny flag square with gold ruffles that displays the royal initials in fine lipstick-red embroidery.

The use of a tiny front license plate adds visual heft to the nose of the Lexus, while the old-lady-eye-shadow-blue emergency lights behind the grille add intermittent pizzazz to the otherwise reserved presentation.

I’m sure Mr. Fancy Pants and his new old lady will love this Lexus, at least until nobody’s looking and they can go back to their less supposedly-environmentally-friendly Rolls-Royce Phantoms and Maybach superliners.

Look, there’s more stuff in the press release about “class-leading CO2 efficiency” and “environmental performances,” but I doubt chicks want to hear about that any more than guys do.

So THIS Serene Highness will end by saying that I couldn’t find any pictures of the Prince, his betrothed, their dresses or whatever other crap you gals read about in rags like People, but it certainly wasn’t for a lack of trying.

Oh, and one last thing: Do you think any of your more estrogen-heavy periodicals—there’s a joke in that last word I’m too female-friendly to mention—be interested in adding an automotive section? Writing this girly stuff isn’t so bad once you get used to it….


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