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Jaguar Celebrates The E-Type's 50th... With Fox?

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On: Mon, Apr 25, 2011 at 1:34PM | By: Andrew W Davis

Jaguar Celebrates The E-Type's 50th... With Fox?

Though I’m sure there are more than a few folks out there that would like to spend their 50th birthday with American “actress” Megan Fox, she seems an odd choice for a hallowed English automaker to choose as the upscale “booth-bunny” for an event that celebrated the golden anniversary of its most famous model.

[What, was every English hottie busy that day, guys?]

But choose her they did for the “Jaguar E-Type 50th Anniversary Celebration,” an event that the company held near this year’s New York International Auto Show to remind us that the E-Type was introduced to the “North American media and public” 50 years ago at the 1961 NY show.

Sounds simple enough, right? Get an old Jag, a new Jag, some banners, maybe some cake and, bingo-bongo, you’ve got a party. Which is what they did… Sort of.

Here’s how Jaguar PR describes the scene:

“Following remarks by [Jaguar Design Director Ian Callum], who lauded the iconic design of the 1961 E-Type displayed onstage, guests witnessed the global debut of the 12MY Jaguar XKR Coupe, with a dramatic reveal that displayed the car with a surprise appearance by actress Megan Fox, who along with Jaguar’s ‘smolderingly sexy’ new car, added glamour to the occasion.”

[Uh-huh. I’m sure that’s why she was there…]

If Ms. Fox’ performance wasn’t flat and stiff enough for your tastes, Jaguar also had on hand a “one-of-a-kind life-size, to-scale replica of the E-Type emblazoned with a decoupage of original fashion and lifestyle photography from the period.”

So, for those keeping score, that’s one part wooden American actress, one part first-grade art project, and zero parts anything that actually celebrates the XK-E’s anniversary.

Then it all went sideways.

Now I’m going to quote Jaguar’s own press release on this because I can’t figure out what they hell they’re talking about. It’s no difficulty in, say, the English-to-English translation, either, because no matter what language you’re used to using, this will just read like the nonsense it is:

“To animate a closer look at Jaguar design iconography from the ‘60s era, passionate E-Type enthusiast Simon Doonan, the British-born Creative Ambassador for Barney’s New York, designed the evening’s celebration. Arriving guests posed on the red carpet with [that cardboard car]. During the first hour of the evening guests were whisked back to 1961, to a swinging party capturing the spirit of the time. Original Bombay Sapphire cocktails were served while models dressed in early ‘60s fashions elegantly lounged within a custom-made tableau-vivant decorated with period E-type iconography.

“To follow the initial 1960s interlude, by way of a second curtain reveal, guests were welcomed back to 2011 where they were able to interact with a spectacular display of Jaguar’s newest models. The high-profile anniversary party was attended by international Jaguar guests attending the New York International Auto Show, American Jaguar car owners, design-industry influencers [and] bold-faced named Manhattan socials.”

Maybe it’s because I’m not any kind of “bold-faced named social,” or perhaps it’s because I’m not Brian Austin Green (Fox’ “plus one”), but whatever the reason this seems to me like a pretty sucky way to celebrate any birthday, let alone one’s 50th.

So let me take this moment to wish the Jaguar XK-E a very happy birthday, with congratulations on making it to 50, both in terms of the cars’ surviving until today and Jaguar’s.

I also want to extend a standing invitation for you to come by my place for a party more in keeping with a traditional b-day bash. I can’t promise that Megan Fox will be there, but I can guarantee that there’ll at least be cake…

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