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Family Haulin' With The Cadillac CTS-V Wagon

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On: Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 12:43PM | By: Lou Ruggieri

Family Haulin' With The Cadillac CTS-V Wagon

To all of the single men out there, if you haven't had to make the choice yet, your time is coming.  It has long been one of the key indicators that your youth and "fun" are officially over for good, and a new, more mature (read:  devoid of road going excitement) you will now have to trade in fast, sweeping, adrenaline-laced on-ramps for slow, lazy, commutes to and from the grocery store. Sure, you may have the flashy two-seat Corvette or Porsche now, but when the wife has decided it's time for kids, suddenly that once indispensable car of yours will suddenly become a lot more expendable than you could have ever imagined, whether by your choice or otherwise.

That is the way it has been. Men making sacrifices for their children before they are even born and trying to bury the pain of cars gone by year after year, but those memories never really go away, do they? Well, with the invention of the new Cadillac CTS-V Wagon, those days of ritualized martyrdom could just be over for good. Forget your old Nomads, forget your Woodies, and forget even your modern day Magnum SRT8s or BMW Grand Turismos. This is the baddest wagon you're ever going to lay your eyes on, or put your kids in.

Think about these statistics. This five-door hauler weighs in a 4364 pounds (distributing it at a very impressive 51/49% front/rear) and has a cargo capacity of 25 cubic feet with the second row up, and a whopping 58 cubic feet with the rear seats folded down. Now that might not sound terribly impressive to you Toyota Matrix or Mazda3 owners out there, but that's only half the story. The magic potion that brings out the Mr. Hyde to the Dr. Jekyll of the CTS-V Wagon's practicality is definitely administered via the driver's right foot. Once turned loose, this beast roars its 6.2 liter supercharged LSA V8 and sends a disturbing 556-horsepower and 551-lb-ft of torque to the rear wheels with more force than almost any Corvette on the planet ever created except for the mighty ZR1. Have we mentioned this is a station wagon?

The car itself weighs about 110 pounds more than it's coupe sibling, but shares the same basic architecture with both the coupe and sedan, and also retains their frighteningly quick acceleration. Row through the CTS-V Wagon's six gears, yes six manually shifted gears, and you'll hit 60 mph in 4.2 seconds. 100 mph comes up in a scant 9.7 seconds, which, by the way, is 0.3 seconds faster than an M3 coupe. Check your stopwatch through the quarter miles and you'll likely see 12.5 seconds have elapsed and you're doing about 114.4 mph. It's easy to spook yourself looking in the rear view mirror of the CTS-V Wagon because you very often forget there's so much car behind you after ripping through a tire-shearing 2-3 shift. Go around a corner carrying anything from children, to groceries, to Home Depot supplies and you'll be amazed how everything becomes unstable going around the turns, except the car you're carrying them in. The V Wagon can run a best of 0.91g around the skidpad, a number which outdoes all but the purest of sports cars.

At a base price of a $64,290, the CTS-V Wagon is not the cheapest option out there, but nothing else on the planet can mix such practical usability with such unbelievable tire-shredding ferocity. Cadillac will be be building these monsters only to order, so get down to your nearest dealership and bring your pregnant wife. Tell her it's time you did some growing up and you'd like a car to match your new, more mature outlook on life. And maybe, just maybe, you can start to end the pain letting go of that fast car, because, well, you're going to be trading it in for an even faster one. Sure, it might be a little over the Honda Odyssey sticker price you two had budgeted for, but ,hey, do it for the kids.

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